Remembering Micah

Memento mori.  Memento vivere.
Remember you must die.  Remember to live.


So, to state the obvious, it has been quite a while since my last post.  Why?  Well, a lot of reasons but I bet those will be the topic of another post another day when I have processed all that I need to.


What drew me back to this blog tonight is this:  a friend of mine passed away and I am sad.  It has felt like I am in some kind of emotional holding pattern, unable to move forward I just keep circling back again and again to see what it is that is hidden in plain sight, shrouded in a perception filter. So after days and days of trying to understand what is going on inside myself I figured, hey--when all else fails, write.  'Cause sometimes I don't really know what it is that I am thinking or feeling till I type it out.

For days I read others' tributes to Micah's life and I felt paralyzed, unsure what was happening.  Such light and strength and joy just gone?  Just like that, gone?  No, that made no sense, so my overly analytical mind kept kicking it back for reanalysis.  Something did not add up.  How was it that others could accept this?

Why does it feel like giving up to accept this?  Accepting that he is really gone tinges my soul with the same sense of failure that I get from a DNF.  Why is that?

I read all of these tributes and eulogies and I am touched and moved to tears by each one because they all ring true, so terribly True. 

And still, I am unable to say anything. I can't seem to organize my thoughts on this at all.  I have so much and yet nothing to say. 

And then one day, today, I realize that the world and reality have shifted and all of a sudden I can accept it and I go from reticent to ramblesome in no time flat.

Micah was a really great guy.  He was very down-to-earth and friendly and genuine.  He had his flaws but every flaw was tempered with a heaping helping of humility.  I was not super close to Micah and we hadn't talked in a while but I considered him a friend and I am deeply saddened that he's gone.  The most painful aspect of this situation to me is this--Micah's girlfriend, Maria, is a very dear friend of mine and the loss of Micah is a crushing devastation to her.  I met Maria through Micah--it was he who suggested that I friend her on Facebook.  I think his words were something along the lines of  "You need to meet Maria. You two remind me of each other.  She's a happy person...just...well, get to know her and you'll see what I mean."  Well, I did and he was right.

So when I talked to some people and arranged for Micah to make a trip out here to Austin to do his "speaking horse" thing in November of '09 I asked Maria if she would come too.  And to my great delight, she did.  Maria and I just clicked--kindred spirits, you know.  I would love to go on and on about how awesome Maria is but if you know her then you already know how inadequate words would be in describing her and if you don't know her then no words could ever properly convey the full depth and breadth of her beautiful soul.

In the past year or so most of my communication with Micah was through Maria.  Maria telling me "Micah sends his love to you and the family."  Or me asking Maria to tell Micah that we were thinking about him and praying for him--that sort of thing. 

I met Micah on Facebook before I ever even heard of Born to Run.  I had posted a running question on a friend's wall and after a few comments Micah joined in on the conversation.  I asked my friend who he was and she said that he was a nice guy, she had met him at a few races out in Colorado and he seemed to know his stuff.  Talk about understatement.  Reading "the book" was a trippy experience since I had met Micah and had several conversations with him via Facebook about running before I even heard that there was a book about him.  The whole mystique of the elusive Caballo Blanco portrayed in the book (when I finally did get around to reading it) was lost on me--I kept thinking  "Really?  This is the same guy who I've been talking to about whether or not it's crazy to run with nothing on my feet but duct tape and who didn't balk when I said that my duct tape was purple and therefore magical--the same guy who dubbed me 'La Violeta'?" 

So here's what is going on inside my heart--I am really, really sad that Micah is gone--he was a great guy and he was such an encouragement to me at many times.  His utter lack of elitism had a way of making me (a decidedly non-competitive runner) feel valued and well, as if it was okay to be slow and just run for the fun of it. And that is just the selfish side of it--he was so much more to so many more!  He was a very open-hearted guy with an uncanny ability to truly accept people where they were.  Not to mention how he started a quest, a movement to champion the cause of the Raramuri.  Micah True was and is a Good man.  Take a minute and let the gravity of that sink in.

But this mourning for Micah is eclipsed by the sadness in my heart for Maria who is suffering a very deep and unique loss.  I want to do something to help her. I wish I could take the pain away but I can't.  Maria is in my thoughts and prayers all day. 

So that's where I am.  I am sad --so very sad, that Micah is gone.  But I am thankful beyond reckoning that he lived, that he truly lived and that I got to know him even for a while.  And I am sad for his beloved Mariposa. 

So what does this lead me to?  To this:  Micah, I will do all I can to hold on to all that you taught me.  I will treasure memories and stories of you and aim to be as open-hearted as you.  I think that accepting that you're gone feels like giving up is because if I do not hold on to what you taught me, to the truth you lived-- that every person has the power to make this world a better place, well, then it is like giving up, it is like a DNF because I won't have done my part in carrying the torch and running the race of life with fervent joy and fiery compassion the way you so perfectly and effortlessly demonstrated.

Maria, I love you and I vow to cover you in prayer as you walk through this valley of morning and grief.
Take courage, Dear Heart, for you know better than most that True love never dies.

Micah, Maria and me -- Austin, 2009

Year Round Granola

Yep, a granola that is perfect year round.  Doesn't matter what the weather is like, this granola is precisely what I need to get me out of bed.  For the summer mornings when it's 90 degrees before 9am and for the winter mornings when the best part of breakfast is just getting to eat something hot and feel the steam warm my face, this granola is my go-to for a filling, nourishing way to wake up and brave another day.

In the summer (which, where I live, lasts from April till November and also visits a few times in December) this granola is great with some raw milk, coconut milk or whatever you like. Cold and crunchy, it's as if every bite is doing its best to shake the sleepiness out of my head.

In the winter I cook this in the crockpot with some raw milk or coconut milk till it is a hearty porridge-like mess of yumminess.  The oats cook all the way and are soft and scrumptious while the slivered almonds retain their crunchiness, still determined to wake me up. (Have you figured out yet that I am not a morning person?)

So here ya go:

Preheat oven to 300

2 cups rolled oats
2 cups steel cut oats*
1 cup almond meal
1/2 cup ground flax seed
1 cup coconut sugar
3 cups almonds -- half sliced, half slivered**
1 1/4 cup melted coconut oil
3 T cinnamon

Combine ingredients in stationary mixer or by hand in a big ole bowl if you are doing this old school.  Pour into a pan (at least 9x13 in size) and bake in 300 degree oven for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.  Store in container in fridge.***  Enjoy with milk for a cold,delicious and invigorating breakfast.  Or....

If you prefer to enjoy this granola cooked, simply combine 4 cups granola, 1 1/2 cups milk and 8 cups water in a crockpot and cook till soft.  I usually set it on high for about 3 hours, stirring every 30 minutes or so.  Most often, I cook it the night before because there is no way I will ever be up 3 hours before the kids.  This is great stored in the fridge after cooking and it reheats well.  Some people may prefer the cooked version because the protein in the oats is much easier to digest when cooked.

And now, a few points of interest:

*The steel cut oats can be really crunchy if the granola is eaten cold so if you really are not looking for a  very crunchy granola then just use all rolled oats in this recipe.

**Almonds sliced or slivered...Why does it matter?  When the granola is cooked in the crockpot, the sliced almonds will break down and become a part of the soft porridge, but the slivered will retain their crunch, to a degree at least.  So it's your call, if you want that extra crunch whether you prepare the granola hot or cold, then be sure to have the slivered almonds. 

***Why store it in the fridge?  Well, there is just something extra delicious about a cold granola.  But that might just be me.  Also, I know a lot of people will be eating this with an alternative milk and having the granola cold helps with the weird fact that alternative milks never seem to be a cold as dairy milk.

Oh, and sometimes when I am feeling really cuh-ra-zeey, I will omit the cinnamon and add half a cup of cocoa powder to make chocolate granola.  Needless to say, the kids love it when I do that.

Please feel free to leave a comment or ask a question.  Or request a recipe.  Or tell me about your favourtie book.  Or your favourite color.  Keep it fun and pinkies up, y'all!

Coconut Almond Bars

Easy, quick, healthy and yummy--think "nomnomnomnom" followed by "vrrroooomm!"

I love these bars.  I mean it--I really do.  They are easy to make, good for you, and a terrific grab-and-go food or a great breakfast... or elevensies.


 I have noted the store where I buy the ingredients after each ingredient listed.  If you do not have an HEB where you live I feel sorry for you.  As my favourite Doctor is wont to say "I'm sorry.  I'm so, so sorry." (100 honor points to anyone that gets that!)  But I digress (often)...ahem...anyway, if you do not have an HEB then you can probably find these ingredients at your local grocery or health food store and failing that there is always Amazon.  (Thank goodness!)



Coconut Almond Bars
---------------------------------------
1 1/2 cups sliced almonds (Sprouts--bulk)
1 1/2 cups slivered almonds (Sprouts--bulk)
1 cup almond meal (Sprouts--bulk)
1/2 cup ground flax seed (Sprouts--bulk)
1/2 cup coconut flour (Sprouts--bulk)
2 cups (about 10 oz) shredded unsulphured coconut (I get this in bulk at HEB)
3 T cinnamon
1 cup raw honey (Sprouts)
1 cup virgin coconut oil (Tropical Traditions, HEB or Sprouts)

Combine ingredients in stationary mixer and press into a parchment lined 9 x 13 pan.  Place in fridge or freezer until firm and then cut into 18-20 bars.  Wrap individually and store in gallon size ziploc bag in fridge.  That's it.  Seriously, they really are that easy to make so no excuses.  =)

Healthy Fudge?

Oh my.  I have been meaning to start this blog for a very long time.  So....for my first post I think I will start with the recipe that is requested most often --my healthy fudge recipe!  Here ya go!

Well, as some of you know, I love to make sweets.  But for a long time I have not been at peace, let alone joy, with my baking and candymaking.  The reason is that I truly care about healthy eating and I very much care about the health of all of my friends and family.  I am not okay with the standard American diet and I am determined to be a part of the revolution against processed, chemically treated, genetically modified, disease and cancer causing foods---if one can even call such abominations 'food'.

Because of all of this I have been doing a lot of research on raw, organic, TRULY natural sweets that can be made inexpensively.  I was not looking for something that was almost as good as store bought sweets--I wanted to make treats that would make store bought stuff taste like the crap they are.  I want to use ingredients of such purity and goodness that, after sampling the divine euphoria that God intended the cocao bean to be used for, one would never again settle for a lower, lesser imitation.  I remember reading stories of mortals who had wandered into faerie rings and partaken of faerie foods.  After tasting the peerless perfection of such blissful morsels, said mortals could never abide normal human food again.  I was looking for recipes for chocolates that would have a similar effect.

Finding such a recipe proved difficult. Most called for agave, which I am not a fan of.  Some recipes called for too many ingredients or very hard to find/ expensive ingredients.  I was left with no choice but to experiment and see what I could come up with on my own.

Here is the first in what I hope will be a series of indescribably yummy, healthy, raw, vegan treats.

But first, a note about coconut oil. (Get it? A note inside of a note.  How very Geo.MacD of me, no?  :)
Coconut oil is awesome stuff.  I'll not waste time or cyber-space repeating what has been better said elsewhere, but trust me--coconut oil is one of the healthiest oils available.  It is solid below 74 degrees, gloopy between 74 and 76 degrees and liquid above 76 degrees.  In order to mix the coconut oil in with the other ingredients, the oil needs to be either gloopy or liquid.  If the coconut oil is too solid, you can just put the container in a larger container of hot water till the oil is melted enough to pour or spoon into a measuring cup.  And I know that honey is technically not vegan, but I think that's stupid.  If a member of the Fae would eat it, then that is vegan enough for me.

Now for the recipe:

In a mixing bowl (or stationary mixer) mix together

1 cup raw cacao powder
1 cup coconut oil
3/4 cup raw honey (set the jar in hot water to melt honey if it is too solid to scoop)
1 jar natural peanut butter (I mean natural, not what Skippy calls natural)

Pour into a parchment paper lined pan ( I use a 7 x 11 pan, but you could also use an 8x8 or 9x9).  Place in fridge or freezer until set (about an hour in the freezer and a few hours in the fridge).  Holding the parchment, lift the fudge out of the pan and place the parchment and fudge on the counter.  Cut fudge into (roughly) 1 inch squares.  Then try one!  Keep the chocolates in the fridge or freezer.  Remember the coconut oil will will be gloopy if too warm--so kept in the fridge or freezer, these chocolates are amazing. Yield: about 60-70 chocolates.


Sometimes I add raw, flaked coconut to the mixture or sprinkle on top. You don't have to add any peanut butter at all if you just want a plain chocolate--or you can use a cup of nuts instead of the peanut butter.  Or if you like your chocolate spicy, you can add cinnamon or cayenne.  Use your imagination, this recipe is hard to mess up!

Why raw?  As for the honey--the taste is amazing.  There is nothing like raw honey.  It is delicious.  And because it is unheated it is loaded with enzymes that support the immune system.

Raw cacao powder is far, far superior to regular cocoa powder because it has over 300 vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that are still potent because they have not been damaged or destroyed by heat processing.

Okay, this is where I get the ingredients:

I buy the raw cacao powder from Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Navitas-Naturals-Organic-Superfood-16-Ounce/dp/B001E5E0Y2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299569173&sr=8-1.http://www.amazon.com/Navitas-Naturals-Organic-Superfood-16-Ounce/dp/B001E5E0Y2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299569173&sr=8-1.

You can get the almond meal (bulk section) and raw honey at Sprouts or Whole Foods.

The best place I know of to order the coconut oil is:  http://www.tropicaltraditions.com/expeller-pressed_coconut_oil.htm

I hope you give it a try and that you enjoy it!  Imagine: A delicious chocolate which is so good for you that you are actually healthier AFTER you eat it than you were before you ate it!  That something like this even exists is pure Grace.

Happy Unbaking!